Let’s be honest for a moment. Destination weddings aren’t all sunshine and margaritas. As much as many couples love the idea of saying their “I dos” in paradise, guests can sometimes feel a different vibe, and a lot of pressure, altogether. Here at Yellow Umbrella Events, we’ve seen the good, the bad, and the downright ugly over the years of planning destination weddings in Mexico.
From surprise costs to resort rules that can make your guests want to roll their eyes, there are a few things that guests consistently complain about after attending a destination wedding, no matter where it’s held. And ignoring these complaints or pretending “but not my guests” is the fastest way to turn your dream wedding experience into a nightmare of constant complaints from your friends and family – or worse yet – ruin friendships and important relationships for years to come.
The great news is that every single one of the “issues” is 100% avoidable with some planning and up-front transparency. So, let’s get into it! Here are the top five things guests secretly (or not so secretly) totally hate about your destination wedding and how you can get in front of each of them, plan in peace, and leave your guests saying it was the best wedding ever!
1. Lack of Clarity
Something I was taught when I was first starting a business more than 20 years ago was, “a confused mind never buys”, and I have learned time and time again over the years just how accurate this statement is. How does this apply to your destination wedding? Well, a confused guest never RSVPs. A confused guest never makes a reservation. A confused guest never stops asking you a million questions (or they simply ignore you altogether, which is arguably worse!).
People thrive with clear communication. Nothing is more stressful to a guest than vague or missing details! They need to have total clarity on ALL the details you can give them. Where is the destination wedding? What are the travel dates? How much is it going to cost? When are the deposits due? Am I required to book a room at the resort where the wedding is going to be held? For how long? What happens if I cancel? What do I wear? Can I bring a guest? And about a hundred other questions!
It’s imperative to have this information in an easy-to-review website/link/document/etc, so guests can have all the correct information to be able to attend your destination wedding with as little stress as possible.
Yellow Umbrella Take: At Yellow Umbrella Events, we believe that clarity is kindness. As such, we create a weblink for all our couples that spells out all the real details. Things like answers to all the most common guest questions, info about the resort the wedding will be held at, details on booking a room, and more, so no guest feels left in the dark!
2. The Price Tag
Yeah, there is no way around this one. Your destination wedding is going to cost your guests something to attend. And let’s be real – even if you had a wedding in your own backyard, it will cost some of your guests (or all of them, depending on where you and your guests live) something to attend. That’s just the nature of attending an event, no matter where it is held.
Flights, resort stays, maybe even an excursion or two – it all can add up fast. Sure, some guests are going to complain no matter what you do, but most guests don’t mind spending some money to attend your destination wedding (since they often treat it as a little vacation of their own as well). As long as it fits within their budget and they know what to expect upfront, they will be excited to attend. However, unexpected costs, an exorbitantly high destination, or resort will almost always spoil the experience for them.
Yellow Umbrella Take: ALWAYS lay out the actual costs right away (remember, clarity is kindness). We highly recommend you have this discussion with all of your intended guests BEFORE you sign a wedding or room block contract, so you know that they are truly on board (or not). And that includes all the potential costs you’re aware of – room nights, transportation costs, day pass info, etc. No surprises = no sticker shock if they say yes to attending. Your guests deserve to know exactly what they are saying yes to. So, here is some wording (a template, so to speak) that can help you manage this up front:
“Hi Bestie, we know this trip is an investment. Here are some costs to consider before saying “I do” to attending our destination wedding: this many dollars X this many nights, plus this amount on transportation, and we’re also taking a catamaran that costs this much. Here is where we are staying. Here’s what is included. Here’s what is not. We want to be transparent with you about potential costs so you can plan ahead. And please know there’s zero pressure to attend if it doesn’t fit in your budget.”
3. Feeling Pressured or Guilted Into Attending
No one I know wants to feel like they’re a “bad friend” if they can’t attend your destination wedding. Your guests will absolutely resent your guilt trips and subtle (or not so subtle) pressure if they say no, especially when it just isn’t going to work with their budget or current life situation.
Yellow Umbrella Take: Not everyone can attend a destination wedding. And that is okay! Those who can, will, and those who can’t or don’t want to, won’t. You will have to be okay with this. But with this in mind, it is crucial that you get the buy-in from those in your life who you just couldn’t possibly see yourself getting married without. In many cases, we have couples who will even subsidize the attendance of a few guests to ensure they will be there. It’s up to you and your budget on whether this is the right course of action for you.
Here’s a graceful, no-pressure way to approach this with your guests:
“Your presence in our lives is what matters most. We would love for you to celebrate with us, but if travel just isn’t in the cards for you right now, we totally understand. Please don’t feel guilty! Your love and support are all we need, whether you’re joining us in Mexico for the wedding or sending us your love from home.”
4. Overplanned Itineraries
Couples often come to us with “maximized” itineraries for their guests. As in, they have planned every moment from guest arrival to departure. There are welcome parties, catamaran days, bridal luncheons, guys outings, cocktail parties each night, rehearsals, more cocktail parties, group dinners each night, pool parties, 9 AM morning after brunches the day after the wedding (why, though!?), and of course, the wedding itself. If you’re in the wedding party? Add on even more events. And oh yeah, did I mention that they want to make it all “mandatory” to attend? What started as a wedding has turned into a work conference. Yikes!
Look, I get it. Your guests are spending some serious money to attend your wedding, and you want them to get every penny’s worth. But hold up – yeah, it’s your day, but it’s also THEIR vacation time and money as well. Give these folks a breather. You would not believe how many complaints we hear from guests who feel like they are being “trapped” by the couple’s well-meaning itinerary.
Yellow Umbrella Take: Don’t feel the need to act as your group’s tour director. For a three-night stay, we recommend planning a small welcome cocktail party or dinner, the wedding day activities, and maybe one activity (like a day-after-the-wedding pool hangout). For a four-night event, add in a catamaran day or one off-site activity, like a cenote day or a park day at a local attraction. Additionally, plan to provide guests with your personal schedule (only for activities you would like company to join you for) and let them know they are free to join. Give it a title like “Our Personal Wedding Week Schedule” instead of calling it “Guest Itinerary”. The guest itinerary is where you list the events/activities that you definitely want them to attend, such as the welcome party and wedding day activities. For your personal wedding week schedule, you can have it say something like, “In addition to the events listed on your Guest Itinerary, here are some places/activities/etc we’ll be on these dates at these times. You are welcome to join us or do your own thing! We hope you also make time to enjoy the resort and your vacation your way.”
5. When They Feel Like They’re Subsidizing Your Wedding
Many resorts structure wedding perks around how many rooms are booked in your room block, and this information is easily found online, in Facebook groups, openly discussed by past destination wedding attendees, etc. So, don’t think for a second that your guests won’t know about this. And while a lot of your guests will already understand this system or are at least under the assumption that your resort is offering you some perk or some incentive to host your wedding there, no one likes to feel like their vacation is just a way to fund your wedding.
Yellow Umbrella Take: Just address is upfront! Here’s some sample wording you can use – “Here’s how your room booking helps us! Our resort requires that a certain number of rooms be booked within our room block to have our wedding here, and they structure the wedding package around the number of rooms booked by our guests. While your stay helps us meet that required minimum and does contribute to the perks we receive as a couple (like preferred event spaces), please know that we never expect you to attend just for that reason.”
Final Words of Wisdom
At the end of the day, your destination wedding is about you, your spouse-to-be, and the people who make the trip to celebrate with you. We all know that attending comes with extra effort and expense, and you should never take that lightly. So, acknowledge it and create an open and transparent space for guest communication around this. Be clear, considerate, and respectful of people’s time and budget. Not everyone will choose to attend, and that’s okay. No matter where you hold your wedding, someone will decide not to attend for whatever the reason may be.
We hope we’ve given you some great ways to address the most common complaints we hear from destination wedding guests. At the end of the day, happy guests = a happy couple, and by tackling these pain points early, you’ll set the tone for a smoother, less stressful celebration that leaves your guests feeling valued and excited to attend your destination wedding in Mexico.
Our team would love to support both you and your guests on your wedding planning journey. Want to work with us on your destination wedding in Mexico? Click HERE to connect. Can’t wait to talk soon!
